Pandemic and the Anxiety.

There’s fear in the air as we see history repeat itself. 2021 feels like an extension of 2020, but with some extra dose of crisis thrown in for some added effect. Don’t you think?

Today, as I spoke with a friend, she shared how her sister was reeling from anxiety thanks to the absence of any activity to occupy her mind.

Our mind doesn’t need much to go off on a tour, isn’t it? All it needs is emptiness, ennui, a little bit of imagination, and it’s good to go!

Negativity is the first feeling it brings along with it from its visits to places far and wide. Negativity, that is followed by fear, anxiety and panic. 

Those who busy themselves in some activity are blessed, if they fail to see it. However purposeless they might feel, the activities they indulge in keep them busy, keep their mind busy, which saves them from a lot of mental agony.

Last year, when my anxiety was at its peak, I started making detailed ink artworks in a bid to keep the anxious thoughts at bay. It took me hours to complete the drawings at the end of which I felt happy and peaceful. I guess my mind, too, delighted in this feeling because every morning, when I woke up, the first thought that came to mind was, what drawing do I make today? 

I am thankful for my art. It has kept me sane. It has seen me through some really tough times and helped me stay afloat. There is something magical about it, about the tools I use to create the artworks—the paints, the pencils, the colours, the designs—that infuse me with the calmness and the pleasure that makes me want to wake up and tackle the day as it unfolds. 

The thoughts that come to my mind as I work on the household chores are, which patterns do I draw in a particular artwork, which colours will suit the design and when do I sit down to work on it.

Yes, there is anxiety, too, lurking around the corners, waiting to pounce on me and swallow me. And, I have friends who cheer me along as I fight this battle with my anxiety, but there are days when it does get the better of me. However, when I bring out my art books and supplies, the anxiety is replaced with calmness and I feel myself come alive. 

If someone were to ask me the one thing that I wouldn’t live without, I would pick art. I would survive without people around me—I did, last year!—but, without my art, I would die every second. My anxiety would attack me with a vengeance and I would be left without an ally to help me fight it. Maybe that’s why my parents named me Shilpa, a work of art.

No, I am not a work of art, but art does work for me! 😛

How about you? How have you been dealing with your anxiety? 

#SoulfulSunday

The above post is written for #SoulfulSunday. It’s a writing exercise I work on along with my friends Vinitha, Esha and Anamika, to keep our writing muscles active. Do join in. 

 

Published by shilpagupte

Do you know the secret to living a happy life? Eat. Pray. Love. Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love! That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'Fictionista', my blog for fiction and non-fiction. Welcome to my virtual homes!

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