Last week, my friend lost her pet dog of eleven plus years. Shourya was a golden retriever, six years younger than Chikoo and also his close friend when he was alive. It’s because of our pets that we girls met one fine day, almost ten years ago. Such a long time ago, but it feels like just yesterday that I saw Shourya walking alongside her human mom.
She walked without the leash, sometimes, and was a really good girl. Well, girls are like that, be they human or animals! What a beauty she was—all white fur, with a face as beautiful as her heart. She had a walking style that resembled that of many a screen goddesses of the hindi film industry. When she walked, her hips swayed, as did her tail which made her look so sexy! My friend, D, and I would joke how Chikoo must have a huge crush on Sho, and what a cute pair they made!
Last week, when D called up to tell me Shourya had stopped eating and was sleeping all day, listless and exhausted, I knew her end was near. She had a heart condition and joint pain. Her weight also made it difficult for her to move without effort. I didn’t want to say it out loud to D, but I knew that she knew it, too. Just the thought of the very pretty Shourya in that condition made my eyes tear up and I wanted to go, give her a hug.
Three days later, D messaged me that Shourya was no more. Even as I type these words, I have a lump in my throat and my heart aches. D and her husband moved out of their home and went to stay at their relatives place as it felt too quiet without Sho around. I can imagine how they must feel. When Chikoo passed away, hubby and I were so restless, we hardly stayed at home. The silence was deafening.
It’s such a thing about pets, especially dogs, the way they smother you with their love, their absence makes it difficult to breathe. The way they welcome you home when you have been out all day, the way they wake you up with their drooly kisses, the way they jump all over you when excited by little things…you lose a part of yourself when they pass away.
It’s difficult living without them. It’s difficult coming to terms with their absence. It takes a long time for your heart to heal. No. Actually, your heart never heals. It just gets used to the hollowness that they leave you with. A void so difficult to fill up, whatever you do.
After Chikoo passed away, we had three birdies fill up the void Chikoo left. But, even today, whenever I look at Chikoo’s picture, I feel my heart skip a beat, and a deep longing for Chikoo; a strong urge to have him back with me, hold him in my arms, smother him with kisses and ask God for some more time to spend with him. A little more time.
Attachments are such, they make dispassion impossible. It’s easier said than done, but one really can’t stay detached, with one’s emotions under control, especially when one falls in love with a dog.
Rest in peace, Sho. I know you and Chikoo must have a lot to catch up with now that you are together amid the clouds! ❤
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