What do you fear most? #SoulfulSunday

I pick a T-shirt and a pair of track pants to wear to the nearby shop I need to visit. I get dressed, tie my hair, pick up my purse, phone, keys. I drop the keys in my right pocket and after a minute, or so, check my pocket to be sure I dropped the keys in there. I check my purse again to make sure I have taken my wallet and phone. And, then, I look down at myself. Am I dressed? I did wear the T-shirt and the track pants a few minutes ago, but, I think, let me re-check.

So, I go back to my room, stand in front of the full-length mirror on my wardrobe, and look at myself, head to toe. Yes, I have worn my clothes, tied my hair and, oh, I have remembered to wear my T-shirt the right way, instead of inside out, like I did that day.

I walk back to the door to step out. I turn and check my pockets for the keys. Yes, I have them right where I put them. I pull the door, lock it and walk towards the elevator. Once inside, I again check myself–am I dressed?

Sigh.

It’s one fear that follows me every time I have to go, run an errand, or go for my evening walk. Those are the only two places I visit–the nearby shops for veggies and grocery, and the parking lot, below, for my evening walk. And, each time, I check and re-check myself to see if I am dressed.

That question–am I dressed, or am I imagining myself dressed?–haunts me each time I step outdoors. Last year, the fear wasn’t as pronounced as it has been since the past few months, now. It was somewhere on the periphery of the crowd of thoughts on my anxious mind.

These days, the fear is right there. Front and centre. Gnawing at me every step of the way to the shop and back.

Seriously, I can deal with all the other anxieties and fears that trouble me otherwise, but this one fear has been so difficult to deal with!

Is it something related to age? I am 47 plus. Only.

Or, is it something to do with my anxiety?

Or, some thought that lies hidden in my subconscious and gives me visions of walking all the way to the market area without my clothes on?

Does it happen with you, too?

I know, this is not the kind of post one writes, usually, but the thought was bothering me so much this past half hour, that I decided to share it here, with you all, and ask if we are sailing in the same boat.

Or, do you have any other fears? How do you deal with them?

**************************************************************

This post is written for #SoulfulSunday (albeit a day late!). My WI-FI was out of order. 

Do join me, my friends Esha and Vinitha, in this weekly writing exercise. It will help you get into the writing groove. 🙂 I promise!  

Published by shilpagupte

Do you know the secret to living a happy life? Eat. Pray. Love. Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love! That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'Fictionista', my blog for fiction and non-fiction. Welcome to my virtual homes!

One thought on “What do you fear most? #SoulfulSunday

  1. I sometimes check to see if I’m wearing my salwar inside out because I have done that a couple of times. I also tend to check more than once if I’ve locked the outside door and have the keys. Fears have such a terrible way of controlling us, don’t they? Would this be considered Gymnophobia?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: